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There is no sexual desire- what to do?

A little background. Occasional meetings in the kitchen often reveal very difficult problems in the life of each of us. So talking about the joys and sorrows, the topic that our guest  sexual desire is completely absent . To our question- oh, how's that? got an answer- that's how! Wellno desire to have sex,there is no feeling of excitement , moreover absolutelyI do not want to have sex with my husband , no, he is a wonderful person and I have the most tender feelings for him- but sex has become a duty,In bed, I do not care about the spouse feeling that you live with a log.

For the first time in our kitchen it was quiet, we thought and just started to remember, and what situations each of us had in life when the desire to have sex disappeared.

It turned out that everyone sometimes had such situations, but so that there was a complete lack of sexual desire in a woman - they heard about it for the first time. I remembered the once heard question of what to do to have a desire to have sex with a woman, another question about the fact that sometimesa woman has no desire to have sex, but that's about the lack of sexual desire for a woman - no.

Therefore, somehow, a laptop appeared on our table and we began to look for answers to questions. Not -Of course, we understand that it will be right for our friend to visit a specialist, which she promised to do, but our interest in this issue was too strong and therefore ...

What is sexual desire, or rather the sexual desires of women?

It turned out that such concepts aslibidoandsexual desire , and since libido or sexual desire implies the desire and desire for sex in women and men. Sexual desire  should be every healthy person to achieve a certain age and moreover,the formation of sexual desire begins in childhood, consists of several stages before we reach full sexual maturity.

After a quick acquaintance with the most different information on this subject, it turned out that :

  • Almost forty percent of women and men periodically in the intimate sphere have problems of a different nature.
  • Why don't I have a feeling of excitement- this question more often concerns women and not men.
  • Women do not like to tell men that they feel the lack of sexual arousal, about their expectations or problems in bed.
  • No sexual attraction what's the reason- sometimes such problems occur as a result of certain physiological disorders.
  • in different materials, you can often read that according to statistics, every third woman has never experienced a wave of sensations and emotions,covering her during orgasm. But it is worth it at least once in life to feel the orgasm in full, and she will want it all the time.
  • It cannot be said that there is only one reason for which sexual desire disappears, this is due to a variety of specific causes.
  • Sexual desire is reduced when taking contraceptive drugs, because the ovaries are at rest and hormones remain at the same level every day.
  • The decrease in sexual attraction in women may be due to both psychological and physiological problems.
  • Sexual desires also depend on the partner, but you cannot blame only a man for decreasing or lack of desire in women.
  • Many problems with sexual desireYou can fix it yourself, but in some cases you will need the help of a specialist.
  • A set of physical exercises that stimulates increased blood flow to the pelvic organs and genitals,promote libido, for example -aerobics, yoga, pilates.
  • A decrease in libido or a temporary lack of sexual desire in a woman is not always bad. Nature thus restricts reproductive functions when “no time”. The wrong person is with you, not the same condition (after childbirth or any serious illness). But sometimes the physiological decline can turn into pathological.
  • Women as children need more time to sleep than men, so they can safely throw an hour of other sleep, then they will have an excellent libido.
  • Most often, sexual desire falls for several reasons at once, thereforeAccording to experts, an integrated approach to the assessment of this condition is necessary.
  • hormones play an important role in the absence of sexual desire in women: estrogen and testosterone. But not only they.
  • Each woman has her own sexual constitution (it can be objectively determined) and, accordingly, her needs. It is possible to evaluate individual potential and correlate it with the current state in just one appointment with a specialist.

At the beginning of a relationship, when a man and a woman go into a stage of intimacy, their sexual desire can be strong. But the emergence of problems in this area is possible when a certain period of time passes, and the passion between partners begins to subside, it is at this moment that sexual desire is established at a certain level. In cases where such an established level satisfies both partners, the causes of the disorder are absent.

However, it is also possible that a man or woman has a feeling of a lesser need for sex, it is also possible that there is a complete loss of interest in intimate relationships. In cases where there is a lack of sexual desire in a woman, it is, as a rule, strongly hurt the feelings of a man. It is necessary to dwell on those factors that can cause such a decrease in sexual desire.

Why can there be a problem with sexual attraction in women?

As mentioned above, all the causes that lead to the weakening of the desire for sexual intimacy can be divided into two groups- physiological factors and psychological:

  • Physiological factor in reducing sexual desire in women- hormonal imbalance in the body of a woman

For the libido, in both men and women, the male sex hormone, testosterone, is responsible. Unfortunately, there has recently been a tendency to decrease it before the established norm, that is, before 30 years. Also in the reduction of sexual desire in women (by the way, in men too) the hormone prolactin may be to blame. In women, a weakening of the libido is observed in the postpartum period, when she is breastfeeding.

Decreased sex drive due to age

  • Physiological factorreduce sexual attraction in women- age changes of women

Extinction or completelack of sexual desire in womenobserved in premenopausal (menopausal) and menopausal age. It is known that during these periods of life, ovarian function begins to fade, which is manifested in a small production of estrogens.

Sexual intercourse becomes unpleasant and even painful, which is associated with a decrease in the production of lubricant in the vagina. Many women at this age completely abandon their sexual life, and do not feel any psychological or physical discomfort due to this.

Reduced sexual desire due to illness

  • Physiological factorreduce sexual desire in women- the presence of common and / or gynecological diseases

Diabetes mellitus, pathology of the cardiovascular and urine excretory systems, inflammatory diseases of the pelvic organs and others are often the cause of sexual coldness in women.

Reduced sexual desire due to bad habits

  • Physiological factorreduce sexual attraction in women - various bad habits

Smoking, alcohol abuse, drug addiction inhibit sexual desire. Bad habits inhibit nerve impulses in the area of ​​the brain that is responsible for sexual desire and arousal. In the first place comes the enjoyment of the above dependencies.

Decreased sex drive due to cramps

  • Physiological factorreduce sexual desire in women- vaginismus

Vaginismus is an involuntary spastic contraction of the vaginal muscles, which is very painful not only for a woman, but also for a man (during sexual intercourse). The cause of vaginism can be experienced sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and more.

Decreased sex drive due to infections

  • Physiological factor of lack of sexual desire- various genital infections

Genital infections are known to cause discomfort in the vulva and vagina. Sexual contact on the background of pronounced colpitis is not only unpleasant, but also very painful, it is also the reason that a woman lacks sexual desire.

Decreased sexual desire due to psychological reasons.

  • The psychological reasons for the decrease in sexual desire in women are very diverse.

This can be chronic stress, fatigue, discord in a relationship with a partner, a quarrel with him, an inappropriate environment, a partner’s unwillingness to take into account the needs and preferences of a woman and much more.

In addition, a decrease in sexual attraction in women can be associated with religious education, a lack of complexes or any upheavals in sexual life.

Often, the partner does not want to reckon with the desires and abilities of the woman, does not take into account the fact that, in addition to her main job, she has to do household chores, raise children, cook lunches and dinners. One of the reasons for the decline or absence of libido in young women is inexperience and fear of unwanted pregnancy.

How is a woman's lack of sexual desire treated?

It is important to understand that the treatment of the symptoms of this type of violation is inseparable from the elimination of its causes. So if the reason lies in diabetes, then focus on treating diabetes and improving the overall quality of life.Other therapeutic methods include antidepressants, homeopathy, psychotherapy.

But, if you look at the truth, you have to admit that the treatment of low inclination is impossible only by medication. It must be complex (medication and restoration of emotional state by psychological mood), including in some cases even the active participation of the partner.

Treatment of sexual disharmony

In the treatment of sexual disharmony, sleep disturbances, headaches, irritability, breast sensitivity, vaginal discharge, weight gain, an increase in the waist, as well as acne, an increase in oily skin are possible. With the inclusion of additional hormonal therapy, an increase in hair growth.

Do not deny this problem at the slightest sign of its occurrence, otherwise it can lead to a serious disorder in life. The key to successful restoration of harmony- this is mutual understanding and mutual respect in a pair. Many experts recommend practicing relationships for some time without direct sexual contact, which can diversify and make novelty in intimate life, so that later the desire to resume it in full form will be awakened.

And if everything is not so badly run ... you decide you are ready to do something to return sexual desire, then severalsimpleways to help you on the path of returning the joy of sex.

Work on the awakening of sensuality and restore sexual desire

You need to learn how to please yourself! And first of all take care not about sexual pleasure, but about the sensitivity of the organs of perception: touch, smell, hearing.

The ability to enjoy such simple things as beautiful music or the fragrance of your favorite perfume will help increase libido. Turn on your favorite music, sit back and try to feel every note of this melody. "Dissolve" in every sound, forgetting about all the problems and troubles.

In addition, this aroma or music therapy will help to relax and tune in to sex. It will be easier to arouse sexual desire in yourself and get more pleasure from intimate caresses.

Your body is beautiful, so love your body and it will respond to you in return and passion.

Very often, problems with libido occur when a woman is dissatisfied with what she looks like: with her figure, hairstyle, facial features ... Especially a lot of problems are created by dissatisfaction with her own weight.

An ordinary mirror will help you to learn how to feel more sexual and desirable. Try to look at your reflection as often as possible, study your body, learn to emphasize your strengths and hide flaws.

Remember: men love different women- Someone more like blondes, and someone red, someone prefers thin, and someone to their liking- women "in the body."

You- individuality! And it is with you that a man is ready to have sex every day! The second one like you is not in this world, and therefore you have something to be proud of.You- one and only! Love yourself the way you are, and you will learn how to get the most out of life.

Use sexual tricks for your body, it deserves it

Sexologists claim that a great way to increase sexual desire is ... longer foreplay. Explain to your partner that you need a little more sexual affection before intercourse than usual.

Increase the time of sexual foreplay by 2-3 times. In this case it will be useful to resort to the help of all sorts of sex toys. This will not only increase your sexual desire, but also diversify sex. Do not forget about lubricants- these gels compensate for the lack of lubrication, and also often contain additional components that stimulate desire.

It is also known that women who have a regular sex life rarely face the problem of lack of desire. So do not forget to devote time to sex in your busy work schedule!

It is necessary to raise the vitality and with it the woman’s sexual desire will rise

It has been clinically proven that physical activity markedly increases sexual desire. Significantly increase libido: 30-minute daily walk, jogging, swimming or any other type of physical activity. But at the same time the regularity of muscular load is important! Training only once a week will not give the expected results.

You can pay attention to individual muscle groups that are directly responsible for sexual pleasure. Ideal for training intimate muscles fit the famous Kegel exercises. They can be performed at any time of the day and in any place.- even on the way to work. Every day for a few minutes, contract the vaginal muscles.- and in a few days you will feel the result.

Correct hormonal failure and improve sex life under the supervision of a physician.

Problems in the sexual life appear after hormonal disruptions in the body of a woman. In this case, the only correct way out.- hormone therapy. This method of "treatment" is necessary for women who have recently given birth to a baby, breastfeeding mothers and women going through menopause. Also, hormonal failure can occur after severe stress.

In all these cases, the weaker sex causes a lack of the hormone testosterone (less than 10 ng per milliliter of blood), estrogen and pheromones. Only a specialist can prescribe the necessary hormonal preparations. Remember that these medical medications must be taken strictly following the dosage. Otherwise, it may worsen not only sexual life, but also general well-being.

Eat properly and with pleasure, increasing sexual desire

It has long been known that proper nutrition can solve many problems, including those of an intimate nature. Increase libido help products- aphrodisiacs.

Sexual fire effectively evokes spicy foods and various seasonings: pepper, onion, garlic, ginger, cinnamon, fennel, cardamom, anise, turmeric, horseradish. Famous aphrodisiacs include seafood: halibut, salmon, clams, oysters. They increase sexual desire due to the fatty acids they contain.

Few people know that many of the products we are used to are powerful erogenous stimulants. These include: chocolate (especially dark), bananas, avocados, mangoes, figs, nuts, liver, eggs.

Traditional medicine believes that it can stimulate sexual desire in women

Medicinal herbs are used as often in the treatment of sexual dysfunctions. The most well-known natural herbs that stimulate sexual desire include:

  •   wild yam
  • ginseng,
  • Damiana,
  • aloe,
  • celery.

These herbs can be used in various combinations in the form of decoctions and infusions, as well as seasoning to various dishes. It is also good to do inhalations based on these herbs, and some- for example, aloe- You can even use in its pure form (aloe juice with honey). These herbs are also part of many biological supplements designed to increase sexual desire.

Talk about the problem of reducing libido- doesn't let her go deep

One of the most common causes of decreased libido in women is psychological.- problems in the relationship with a partner. Quarrels, conflicts, omissions, suspicions ruin the sex life in 80% of cases. And first of all the woman suffers. The only way out is a heart-to-heart talk. Tell your man about your suspicions and doubts. 

The sooner you solve all the sore questions, the sooner you will feel the joy of sex again. In some cases, you may need the help of a psychologist or a family therapist. Do not hesitate to seek help from a specialist - after all, not only your sexual pleasure, but also your further relationship with your partner may depend on it. 

Imagine with a man, such fantasies increase a woman's sexual desire

Try to be with your man as much as possible frank. Communication will help increase libido. Talk with your partner about everything, and most importantly - about your sexual desires and fantasies. Arrange an evening of revelations and talk with each other on the most intimate topics. Best of all, if this conversation smoothly flows into the night of magical love. 

Try to realize each other's fantasies. Experts "prescribe" this way of increasing libido quite often. And it is absolutely justified - because the inability to tell about their sexual desires becomes the cause of first sexual dissatisfaction, decrease in sexual activity, and then a complete lack of desire for intimacy. 

Do not forget about the romance of life, make an erotic component in the relationship and you will increase the sexual desire of a woman

In everyday life, we often forget or simply don’t find time for romance in a relationship. But the evening spent by candlelight to the sound of slow and pleasant music in the company of its second half can solve many problems ... This situation primarily affects the emotional relations between the partners. You will learn to understand each other better, to pay more attention to the feelings - yours and your partner. 

Such intimate evenings can not affect your sexual desire. Romance will increase your sensuality and teach you to understand each other’s desires without words. Arrange such intimate evenings at least once a month. The essential attributes of a romantic rendezvous should be not only music and candles, but also an appropriately laid table. Prefer dishes from aphrodisiacs and light wine (in small quantities).

A small dictionary to the article about the absence of sexual desire in women

  • Orgasm is muscle contraction of the vagina and uterus, which occur during intercourse and bring physical and moral satisfaction. A woman during one sexual intercourse may experience both single and multiple orgasms. 
  • Vaginismus is an involuntary spastic contraction of the vaginal muscles. 
  • Frigidity is the sexual coldness of a woman. It can manifest itself in a decrease in sexual desire, up to a lack of desire for sexual intimacy or even aversion to sex. Allocate physiological and psychological frigidity, as well as imaginary and true. 
  • Libido is nothing but sexual desire, desire for sexual relations. It is believed that libido fully flourishes in women after 20-22 years. 
  • Desire is a special state of the human psyche reflecting the qualitative component of its needs. Desires are fulfilled and unfulfilled, strong and weak, regular and one-time, overt and secretive ... but every person has them at every moment of his life, including sleep. 
  • Aphrodisiacs - substances that stimulate or enhance sexual desire or sexual activity. 


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